Soon it will be Labor Day, and millions of Americans will experience the Democrats’ stimulus program as they hit the highways plastered with stimulus signs reading — “Expect Delays.”  From California to the New York Island thousands of good Democrat supporting, union dues paying, Americans have found meaningful work digging holes and filling them back in on our nation’s highways.  Sure, it might be frustrating to take half the weekend just getting to your destination, and, of course, you will be terrified when upon arrival you realize it is time to turn around and return home.  But according to Democrats, digging and filling holes is the road to recovery and economic prosperity.

I know Democrat environmentalists are fuming that improving roads requires asphalt made from oil, which stimulates more auto miles which are bad for mother earth.  But don’t worry.  The government has no intention of ever finishing this work.  As the nation comes to a crawl, for the benefit of Democrat supporting union stimulus jobs, people will eventually forego vacations and do more staycations.  Rather than going to the shore they’ll sit around the little plastic pool and splash water to simulate ocean waves. By digging up our highways Democrats will cut vehicle miles and thus oil consumption and thereby so called “toxic greenhouse gas emissions.”

This is just the direct effect.  Borrowing the money crowds out private capital investments ensuring we can expect delays in terms of any real economic growth.  When Democrats raise taxes to pay off the debts for all the digging up and filling back in again, many Americans won’t even have the money for the little plastic pool.

This is great, since going to the beach or sitting around the plastic pool can lead to skin cancer.  Democrats fought hard to attack this tragic condition by including a special tanning booth tax in their comprehensive – expect delays – nationalized healthcare.  Nationalized healthcare won’t have the money to treat such diseases or many other conditions.  By denying you access to sun and fun, Democrats can limit the delays Americans will come to expect from nationalized healthcare.

Sure, this will leave us in what former Democrat President Jimmy Carter described as perpetual malaise, but the wealth will have been spread around.  Rather than racing forward, hitting an occasional pothole, Democrats will teach Americans to appreciate a life of dependence to a paternalistic government where you get everything from postage stamps to life support.

As the Democrats would say, “enjoy the stimulus”.  Too often Americans grab onto something and vigorously play with it, expecting instant gratification, until they prematurely lose interest.  Don’t get hyped up on tea parties.  Slow down.  Smell the ersatz latte, and delay your expectations.”

Keith Miller

RRTC